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“Wait, Is This a Date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on “hold off, So is this a Date?” we’re accompanied by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Keyword

specialist
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You heard that right! This episode is focused on lesbian interconnectivity — connecting with pals’ exes, friends connecting with these exes, and also the tradition developed by all of that drama.

Come for the gossip, stay for your mental running. And before that enjoy a game title that exams Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she usually wouldn’t normally.)

Thank you for all your nice comments after all of our premiere! For those who haven’t however think about giving us a rating or test!


SHOW RECORDS

+ Five years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood information
this is the intersection of most my personal passions.

+ Here’s
the article
I reference where We mention hooking up using my roommates.

+ My personal crush on the week Mj Rodriguez revealed a songs video clip for her song
“Something to Say”
!

+ As somebody who has just viewed some periods of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush in the few days C.C. Babcock was stunning to me whenever it ended up she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina tells me they fundamentally however tend to be.)



Drew:

I’d end up being really good with-it existing. I might never ever add some other person without their authorization. But the notion of whenever some one was actually like, “Confirm that you happen to be connected to me,” I’d be like, “Yeah, this is the existence I lived. I really don’t care about.” Would be that strange? Is the fact that a challenge?


Christina:

No, as if I becamen’t, I would feel bad not-being. I would personally end up like, “Wait, I am not sleeping?”


Theme tune plays


Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.


Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.


Drew:

And this is

Wait, Is It A Date?


Christina:


Wait, So Is This A Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the top questions. To start with, would it be a romantic date? Exactly what are times? That are times? Can we like times? These represent the type questions that individuals address on this subject here incredibly professional and beautiful podcast.


Drew:

I’m Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.


Christina:

I am Christina Tucker. I am in addition a writer at Autostraddle. I am a loud queer on the internet. I am getting better at explaining my self as an author and, famously, a lesbian. That’s all of us. That’s just who the audience is.


Drew:

Yeah. And thus all of our primary subject recently could be the Chart.


Christina:

I simply thought it needed a sting. I’m not sure. That felt really remarkable, but I think it needed it.


Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Thanks a lot, thank-you. No, no, no. The perfect level of drama.


Christina:

Many thanks.


Drew:

Yeah. So we’re referring to lesbian interconnectivity.


Christina:

I enjoy that term as it sounds like you’ll want to restart the lesbians. It sounds just like the net connection isn’t really functioning.


Drew:

Yes. it is rather higher level, really futuristic, but also has existed since there’s been lesbians, i do believe.


Christina:

Yeah. In my opinion students will say after they found the initial lesbian fossils, they discovered an information alongside of them created to the mud. And I believe’s what that flick is all about, proper? It’s about the information? That movie with Kate Winslet and sand fossils?


Drew:


Ammonite?


Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it is more about.


Drew:

If only

Ammonite

was about cave women. I would see that lesbian motion picture.


Christina:

Really, as I have not viewed it, i will courageously point out that it had been. Cool.


Drew:

Yeah. Since it is like there is so many lesbian duration parts, but we’ve never eliminated right back that much. And I also believe it’s the perfect time we carry out.


Christina:

Let us simply hold using it more back in time.


Drew:

Before we become to our major topic, you are still observing you. And that I believed that it could be fun to play a game title where you men could really learn Christina. Therefore the icebreaker with this few days is just a little game that we name “Would U-Haul.”


Christina:

I am, again, very stressed about any of it. This could just be the way I come to the online game. This could be my personal video game mindset, just a little high-key, a tiny bit stressed. That is ok. We are all reading.


Drew:

In my opinion that’s fantastic. In my opinion that will turn you into more susceptible, maybe.


Christina:

One of my personal favorite emotions.


Drew:

Simply a terror, just an acute terror. So that the method in which “Would U-Haul” really works is actually I’m going to explain a scenario. Let’s refer to it as Christina follower fiction. And I also’m probably pause after each small section to be similar, “Okay, Christina, i am aware you have never stayed with a partner, don’t want to accept someone. But under these situations, would U-Haul?”


Christina:

And that I will possibly say yes or I’ll state, “I’m prepared.”


Drew:

Unless you — really, we are going to see here. But i am thrilled. In my opinion I maybe damaged the signal.


Christina:

You cracked the signal? I’m excited.


Drew:

Let’s see how very long this requires. Incase you won’t ever carry out, I think you winnings? I don’t know just how discover winners right here.


Christina:

I’m not sure that there are winners within the video game of U-Hauling.


Drew:

Really, I don’t know if you’ll trust that next. And so I’m going to get heading.


Christina:

Reasonable enough.


Drew:

Okay. Thus, Christina.


Christina:

Drew.


Drew:

You’re at the friend’s wedding ceremony. Regardless of the plethora of romcoms you soaked up, you did perhaps not check-out this marriage considering you’d fulfill anybody because, really, this is not a romcom. Here is the real and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You’re taking your designated seat and are usually glancing at the telephone whenever you realize a woman at the table is looking at you. She presents herself since your buddy’s previous baby sitter. She’s stayed a buddy of the family, but she doesn’t actually know anybody there. She looks like mid-forties and it has a striking angular face. You start chatting. She proposes to get you a glass or two. When she compares, you recognize she actually is six feet large, 6′ 3″ in heels. So that you know what? I’m only probably stop there and become love, at this point, would U-Haul?


Christina:

I am fascinated. I’m captivated because i would get put as of this marriage. But up until now I am not U-Hauling anyplace.


Drew:

Cool. Which is totally reasonable. Totally reasonable. Okay. So you spend the entire wedding ceremony getting to know one another. There is only an instantaneous spark and quick biochemistry. And certainly, you are doing attach together with gender is amazing.


Christina:

Tight.


Drew:

And this wedding ceremony was a student in Northern California. Which means you both extend your stays for a few days to shag and explore and consume at restaurants and screw. And you also provide to divide the price of the now shared space, but she laughs you off and is want, “demonstrably not, honey.” So that the subsequent 3 days are miraculous. You’re feeling the walls tumbling straight down. You are slipping quicker than you ever before have actually. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Therefore only for clearness’s benefit, i am having a tough time imagining a world for which I got three shock times away from try to go out with an individual I do maybe not understand. That looks bonkers. But if i did so, best for myself. But I’m not U-Hauling during this period. It will be a no.


Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is good. You simply came across. I have it. I get it. Okay.


Christina:

Thanks plenty.


Drew:

So she returns to ny and you go back to Philadelphia.


Christina:

That’s where We live.


Drew:

And you’re texting always. That is where you live plus its in which this girl resides. And you are texting all the time while see each other several times per month. She actually is really busy along with her task, but she actually is quick buying you a train admission to help you appear see the lady and stay at her beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. And then 6 months pass. And something night if you are out over supper, she requires one relocate with her. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

And relocate to New York? I really don’t love ny. No, I am not transferring during the six months mark. I am not performing that, no.


Drew:

Okay, okay. Entirely, completely, completely. Wow. Okay. So you keep matchmaking long distance. She knows that you may need time and she’s prepared to wait a little for you. Some more months move. It’s today already been over per year. The landlord tells you that they’re offering your place to a developer who’s installing apartments, which means you are unable to renew it. You’ll want to find a brand new spot. Your own now girlfriend lets you know that no force, but her offer nonetheless appears. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Okay. At this time, i’d U-Haul for 2 reasons.


Drew:

Yay! Okay. Please tell us.


Christina:

Mainly, in some sort of for which my personal property manager offered the house to build up it, my property manager is now my personal companion, with the intention that may seem like one thing moved completely wrong within our friendship. And I also may want to merely keep Philadelphia in any event. Of course I have to go in using my gf over here, that seems fine. That’s good. Completely good. But yeah, I think I might need an external force like a mean landlord.


Drew:

Which is so — fine. I did believe you’d must need property attain here, and so I’m happy I understood that.


Christina:

Yeah. That is precisely what has to occur to me personally initially.


Drew:

Really, I’m happy to understand what it takes. Thus in theory, if you weren’t kicked away, how much cash more time?


Christina:

Genuinely, might went on for quite some time. Philly and nyc commonly even that not even close to both. I got space over right here. We are jumping to and fro. We are having fun. I could have let that roll for quite some time until I guess Shoshana can become the worst individual I know.


Drew:

I didn’t understand that Shoshana possessed your home. Really, there you decide to go.


Christina:

There we go. Wow, which was exciting.


Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.


Christina:

I’m pressured, is obvious.


Drew:

And I’m grateful that i understand… possibly in case you are actually, anytime anybody’s ever internet dating you and wants one to move around in, perhaps your gf informed Shoshana to market the home in the interest of the relationship.


Christina:

Genuinely the quickest method — some one would only have to consult with Shoshana and stay like, “merely kick this lady around.” Following she’d be like, “Yeah, certain. Naturally.” That might be the way it occurred, though she failed to offer the house. Someone would just be like, “Could you only stop the lady out thus she will only get over it and relocate beside me?” And she would state yes. A hundred percent she’d do this. That is what relationship is.


Drew:

I favor that.


Christina:

Yeah, that’s truly breathtaking.


Drew:

Well, I believe like we discovered alot about you.


Christina:

Thanks A Lot. I’m like We discovered a great deal about myself, as well. Danger of homelessness is really the matter that helps to keep me relocating any scenario, I guess. Wow.


Drew:

Well, which is great.


Christina:

Which was truly thrilling. I am just as excited to go into the main portion because i believe writing about lesbian connectivity because of this guest, using this unique visitor, I think it’s going to be incredible, Drew. Exactly how have you been feeling?


Drew:

I am therefore thrilled. This might be a professional. And also by that, i am talking about an

L Keyword

specialist, but some a specialized in the subject in front of you.


Christina:

I do believe a couple of things could be correct, my buddy. In my opinion a couple of things is generally real certainly. Can we need present the guest or will we desire our very own visitor to introduce on their own?


Drew:

I’d love the guest to introduce by herself.


Christina:

Guest.


Drew:

I’ll point out that the visitor may be the one and only Riese Bernard.


Christina:

Guest, talk.


Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. As well as being odd to-be the visitor!


Christina:

Yeah, it’s.


Riese:

I had to not say anything. I did not actually do it. Used to do say things. I experienced to sit down here calmly.


Christina:

And you also happened to be truly daring. As well as your faces were appreciated.


Riese:

Thanks so much.


Christina:

Though this is clearly an audio average, i would like our listeners to know that Riese was actually producing some good effect confronts during “Would U-Haul.”


Riese:

There’s different ways to get heard. Do you know what i am talking about? That’s what I always say. I am the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball group. And that’s myself. We have your dog known as Carol. And that I have actually outdated men and women.


Christina:

Congrats throughout the kickball!


Riese:

Thanks. I am involved with individuals.


Christina:

Great. Enjoying that. That is great to create for this, this right here online dating podcast. That is excellent.


Riese:

Yeah. I do believe that… will there be whatever else?


Drew:

No, I think which is great, Riese.


Christina:

Anything you desire to share.


Riese:

I enjoy raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.


Christina:

In Contrast to…


Riese:

You Understand an individual goes like…


Drew:

It is like when you blow. Yeah.


Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be disgusting, thus I merely evacuated them from my personal head.


Riese:

Yeah. And that’s all.


Christina:

Great.


Drew:

Well, we right away looked at you with this topic.


Christina:

That is true.


Drew:

Because first and foremost, clearly, queer females and non-binary folks in lesbian neighborhood are like, I’m not sure, making love with people who people they know have seen intercourse with since long before

The L Word

was actually a set. But i really do feel like

The L Word

solidified a specific cultural thought of the data with Alice Pieszecki. I really felt like you would have a lot of insight into this topic.


Riese:

It is true. Two of the article writers, I would like to say, of

The L Keyword

had this genuine chart of these and their buddies these people were drawing throughout the wall structure or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, had been one among them. She talked to all of us regarding it, which they had developed this. Because demonstrably, every person because publisher’s place had banged other people inside blogger — you realize, and also the extensive web of the generation of lesbians in l . a .. And they also saw that and these people were like, “Let’s put it inside tv show.” Many of these are on the data. Like, one particular exactly who … like, genuine individuals are throughout the information as a joke.


Christina:

That’s amazing. That’s how you learn you’ve made it.


Riese:

Isn’t really that sexy?


Christina:

That will be fascinating personally.


Riese:

And so for those who haven’t observed

The L Keyword,

first of all, congrats. Second, it becomes the centerpiece of just one of one’s head character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s everything over her wall. And it also could be the title of an online site that they began known as ourchart.com that flopped. Additionally the concept … and it is inside pilot, i believe. Inside the initial event, Alice begins discussing exactly how everyone’s linked, because everyone’s installed with this specific individual. And I can link you, like you’re probably no more than two levels far from myself. Hence was true. Like, even with Dana, who had not a lot of experience because she had been a closeted tennis player, they however had the ability to connect this lady. That is certainly actuality because it’s genuine.


Christina:

That’s tradition. Yeah. That is what culture seems like.


Riese:

That is society. Which is queer society immediately. And now every person can make their charts.


Christina:

Yeah. To make certain that would definitely be my subsequent question, was actually have either people made a chart? Because I really don’t consider You will find, and I am particular today thinking like, that was this last year resting at my house for easily don’t generate a chart? Like, what was the point of that, actually?


Riese:

I believe I’ve completed it during my journal, equally like … Because i prefer, I don’t know, planning information, i suppose, as an idea exercise.


Christina:

Yeah, I think which is also the reason why I am amazed that We haven’t done it. I really like the concept of categorizing situations.


Riese:

Correct. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I’m not sure precisely why it really is therefore fascinating, but it’s. It’s fascinating is love, wow, all these individuals, they can be linked. It’s untamed.


Drew:

From the tv series, as soon as ourchart.com is actually designed, they usually have an actual information that people could add things. And I feel like something you joked pertaining to on

To L and Right Back,

and from now on people state continuously is like, when this existed in a proper method, no body would place their names about it, nobody would feel safe placing their particular brands about it.


Riese:

Might.


Drew:

I might. I might be really great with it existing. I might never add somebody else without their permission. Nevertheless idea of want, each and every time some body had been like, “Confirm that you happen to be connected to me,” I’d wind up as, “Yeah, this is the existence I resided. I really don’t worry about.” Is the fact that strange? Is a problem?


Christina:

No, as if I found myselfn’t, i might feel bad not-being … I would resemble, “Wait, I am not on it? Like, i’m very sorry, what?” No, that could actually send me into a light moral stress about who I am as a person, the thing I’m performing. Was I interesting? Do people {like
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